How Columbus Discovered America

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The real story from Our Humor Department.

We all know that Joe Biden was really old when Barrack Obama picked him to be Vice-President. In fact Joe was so old that he sailed with Columbus.

He was in charge of the compass. Unfortunately, he liked to play with magnets. Just delighted in holding a magnet and making that needle go this way and that. Columbus asked him, “are we still sailing west?” “Oh, sure,” Joe Biden replied.

Later they reached land. Columbus and his crew disembarked. “Greetings, my new Chinese friends,” Columbus exclaimed. The African warlord said, “You’re trespassing on our land. Get out of here.” So, Columbus and his men got back on their ships and sailed away.

They reached land a second time. Columbus and his crew disembarked a second time. The natives greeted Columbus warmly. A wary Columbus, not to be made a fool a second time, demanded, “Take me to your leader.” “That would be our Emperor in Beijing, the Forbidden City.” Columbus turns to Joe Biden. “Now are we in China?” “Yes, sir. No doubt about it,” Joe Biden replied. “Everybody back to the ships,” Columbus ordered. “If Joe Biden says something, I know that it is wrong.”

They sailed away. “What kind of idiot would hire Joe Biden for anything?” Columbus ripped the pages about the landings from the expedition’s logbook, tore them up into little pieces, and hurled them out to sea. “These landings never happened. They will never get into the history books.” He swore the crew to silence.

Finally they made land a third time. The natives greeted Columbus warmly. Columbus said, “Let’s jump right to the conclusion. Joe Biden are we in China now?” Joe Biden said, “No, sir. Not even close.”

Columbus said, “Greetings, my new Chinese friends.” — And that, boys and girls, is how Columbus discovered America.