Tweet Like Donald Trump

From our Humor Department:

What if others in history tweeted like him?

Pharaoh, 1446 B.C.:

Israelites had to come up with story as to why they were enslaved so long and so badly (400 years) so they made up a story — GOD. Fake news!

Priam, king of Troy, 1200 B.C:

Cassandra says the horse shouldn’t come in the city gates. She’s been losing so long she doesn’t know how to win. Not me!

Julius Caesar, 44 B.C:

Do you believe it? Wife had bad dream, says I can’t go to Senate because I will be murdered. Ridiculous and will be overturned!

Napoleon, 1812:

My so-called advisers warning of famine, dysentery, typhus if I invade Russia. Lies! Only emboldens the enemy!

Donner Party, 1846:

FAKE NEWS reports, fabricated deal, saying unsafe to take shortcut through the Sierra Nevadas in winter. Very dishonest!

White House press secretary, 1865:

The president saw a great show at Ford’s Theatre last night, packed house, long standing ovations, amazing people. WIN!

George Custer, 1876:

Leaks say we will be overwhelmed at Little Bighorn. Real scandal is classified info is illegally given out like candy. Very un-American!

Edward Smith, 1912:

‘Intelligence’ from made-up ‘sources’ says there are icebergs. But fake news media refuses to mention my ship is unsinkable. Politics!

Franklin Roosevelt, 1933:

I inherited a mess. At home and abroad, a mess. I just want to let you know, I inherited a mess. A horrible mess! Bad!

Winston Churchill, 1940:

Germany is formally PUT ON NOTICE for invading France. Big trouble! If something happens, blame the courts. A lot of bad dudes out there!

John F. Kennedy, 1961:

Bay of Pigs was a winning mission (according to SecDef McNamara), not a ‘failure.’ Time for the U.S. to get smart and start winning again!

George W. Bush, 2005:

The levees held. The fake news media is going crazy with its conspiracy theories and blind hatred. Terrible!

This came from today’s Washington Post.