From our Humor Department:
What if others in history tweeted like him?
Pharaoh, 1446 B.C.:
Israelites had to come up with story as to why they were enslaved so long and so badly (400 years) so they made up a story — GOD. Fake news!
Priam, king of Troy, 1200 B.C:
Cassandra says the horse shouldn’t come in the city gates. She’s been losing so long she doesn’t know how to win. Not me!
Julius Caesar, 44 B.C:
Do you believe it? Wife had bad dream, says I can’t go to Senate because I will be murdered. Ridiculous and will be overturned!
My so-called advisers warning of famine, dysentery, typhus if I invade Russia. Lies! Only emboldens the enemy!
Donner Party, 1846:
FAKE NEWS reports, fabricated deal, saying unsafe to take shortcut through the Sierra Nevadas in winter. Very dishonest!
White House press secretary, 1865:
The president saw a great show at Ford’s Theatre last night, packed house, long standing ovations, amazing people. WIN!
George Custer, 1876:
Leaks say we will be overwhelmed at Little Bighorn. Real scandal is classified info is illegally given out like candy. Very un-American!
Edward Smith, 1912:
‘Intelligence’ from made-up ‘sources’ says there are icebergs. But fake news media refuses to mention my ship is unsinkable. Politics!
Franklin Roosevelt, 1933:
I inherited a mess. At home and abroad, a mess. I just want to let you know, I inherited a mess. A horrible mess! Bad!
Winston Churchill, 1940:
Germany is formally PUT ON NOTICE for invading France. Big trouble! If something happens, blame the courts. A lot of bad dudes out there!
John F. Kennedy, 1961:
Bay of Pigs was a winning mission (according to SecDef McNamara), not a ‘failure.’ Time for the U.S. to get smart and start winning again!
George W. Bush, 2005:
The levees held. The fake news media is going crazy with its conspiracy theories and blind hatred. Terrible!
This came from today’s Washington Post.