From our Humor Department:
“Enemy warship in sight!”
The captain ordered to luff sails, all hands to general quarters, and fetch his red coat. Guns were run out and when the ships came in range, full broadsides were exchanged. It was a courageous battle, ending in victory.
As the captain calmly paced his quarterdeck his orderly asked him, “Excuse me sir but why did you ask for your red coat.” The captain said that if he had been hit he did not want his bleeding to discourage his men.
A few days later twenty enemy ships were sighted bearing down right on top of the ship. The captain ordered to turn down wind, pour on all sails, all hands to general quarters, and to fetch his brown pants.